Welcome back to work, nonprofit sector! If you returned from a break on Monday, January 5th, chances are that by now most of our brains have rebooted and shifted back into gear. While plenty of us are (very understandably) reluctant to return to the real world after a restful break filled with hot cocoa, time with loved ones, and sleeping in, there are a few of us who might be feeling a little differently.
Sure, we enjoyed those cozy, restorative aspects of a winter holiday break—but there’s something uniquely stressful about the holiday season that can leave certain people feeling grateful that it’s over. And I bet I can guess why…
You’re a bad gift giver too, aren’t you?
It’s okay—this blog isn’t meant to be confronting. Quite the contrary. This is a celebration of the underdogs of the holiday season: the painfully bad gift givers. For my fellow nonprofit professionals who feel there are simply too many moving parts when it comes to gift giving, you’re not alone. And frankly, we should celebrate and protect one another. It’s time to step out of the shame spiral that hits when we’ve gotten someone something generally nice, only to receive something deeply personal and sentimental in return.
Below are a few reasons to reclaim our dignity, in spite of this flaw that can make the holidays feel particularly uncomfortable.
- Someone has to be the bad gift giver.
Realizing you’re a bad gift giver is a tough moment—there’s no denying that. In a world where gift giving is a major love language, this struggle doesn’t stop with the holidays. Birthdays are hard. Anniversaries are hard. Showing love to someone who feels most loved through gifts is hard.
But like all human traits, someone has to have them. We each carry a unique mix of good and bad, desirable and less desirable qualities. If you have an incredible sense of humor, for example, the least you could do to balance the scales for possessing such a coveted trait is be a bad gift giver. When you think about it that way, it doesn’t seem so bad—much like all the things we eventually accept as part of the human condition.
And honestly, if we’re ranking flaws, being a bad gift giver is one of the more charming ones. With the right perspective, it even has an endearing quality.
- Bad gifts can make great stories.
Bad gifts are often bland or inoffensive—but sometimes they’re genuinely hilarious. When I was 12, my dad got me a set of sheets for Christmas. After receiving wonderful gifts from my mom, I was absolutely crestfallen. A utilitarian item? From my dad? For Christmas? I was borderline insulted that he thought this was an appropriate gift for a 12-year-old instead of, say, a Wii game.
Looking back now, it’s genuinely funny—and honestly, kind of sweet. Whenever I’m telling stories that capture who my dad is, this one always comes up, right alongside the facts that he’s a surgeon who did a fellowship at Johns Hopkins and that he has a scar on his hairline from getting hit by the boom on his sailboat. He’s a brilliant, nautical person who didn’t know what to give his daughter, so he gave her sheets. That’s pretty funny (to me, at least).
All of this is to say: when you realize you’ve given a not-great gift, try neutralizing the icky feelings by remembering that there’s a very real chance it could become a funny, memorable story someday. That alone makes it not so bad.
- Every gift counts—even the unconventional ones.
At the end of the day, giving a bad gift is always better than giving no gift at all. Each gift, no matter how imperfect, carries kind intentions, and that effort deserves recognition. But when the guesswork feels overwhelming or you’re unsure what someone might truly appreciate, there’s a thoughtful alternative that never goes out of style: making a donation in their name to a cause close to their heart.
This kind of gift transcends material things and channels generosity into something meaningful and lasting. It honors the spirit of giving while supporting organizations that align with your loved one’s values—something especially resonant for nonprofit professionals like us. So whether your gift is a unique item or a charitable contribution, what truly matters is the thoughtfulness behind it. After all, trying—and caring—are sometimes the most powerful gifts of all.